It is extremely common with modern weddings for the couple to have prepared their own wedding vows. It is a beautiful, personal touch that you can add to your wedding and of course it would come from the heart and reflect you. However, actually sitting down and writing them could be a different thing altogether because more often than not, staring at that blank page, trying to figure out how to even start can be daunting. Fear not, though, as Urban Bride Chic has some important pointers to help you craft those Wedding Vows.
You are not trying to emulate anyone else’s style. You are not trying to channel your inner Charlotte Bronte or Ernest Hemingway to pen something verbose. If that’s not you, then it isn’t going to come across naturally when you say them to your partner. It’s alright to add a bit of lighthearted humor to your vows if that is you, it’s alright if you want to turn them into a bit of a sonnet if that is something personal and inspiring that you share. If you’re not a traditional kind of person, then go modern. You have to get down and really tap into your emotions of who you are and what this unionship means to you in order to write your vows. This is you, speaking from your heart, in your style for your promise to your partner. Don’t make it sound like someone else wrote them.
Where to start
A great idea is for a couple to sit down and decide upon a starting point for their respective views. Of course, you will want to keep the rest of it secret until the big day. But it is alright to come to some agreement of how to start off and this can be tremendously fruitful in helping you get over the bit of writer’s block. This doesn’t have to be anything complicated at all, just decide upon a starting phrase together, such as “On this day I promise you…” or something like that. Then just run with it.
Keep it together
One thing which often gets lost and blurred over is the length of the vows. It can seem a little odd as a wedding guest to sit there and watch the groom rattle off three sentences while the Bride gushes on for ten minutes of how much she loves her partner. That creates a little imbalance, so sit together before writing your vows and come up with a word count. While these are your personal words to each other, don’t keep your guests from the cocktail hour by rattling off an essay eac200-word word limit should probably keep you well on track for writing your wedding vows. Also keep together in terms of tone and format as much as possible too.
All in the details
If you are getting stuck what to write, then stop, take a deep breath and think about something that really symbolizes your relationship. Think of the things that you already love about your partner, how it fits into the balance of your relationship and the aspects that perhaps will have to be worked at in order to drive the relationship towards being a long, healthy marriage. Think of finishing “I promise…” and “I will…” sentences to get to the root of things that matter now and will matter in the future. Just going back to the first point, remember to keep these vows personal of course, if you want to promise your husband-to-be that you won’t rub it in his face when you beat him at chess, do so.
The thing about Wedding Vows is that they can be easily put off until the last minute. It’s easy to do, you have to worry about so many aspects of your wedding day that scribbling down a few lines can be done in a hot five minutes right? No. You want to start writing these as early as possible, even if it seems to be unnecessarily early in the context of your wedding planning. The more time you can put into them before sharing them at the altar, the better. This gives you plenty of time to tweak and perfect them as well as really being able to stop and take in some genuine sources of inspiration.
To make the process even smoother for you, Urban Bride Chic suggests going through these pointers to help you focus. While we can’t write your vows for you, here are some question to think about to lead your to inspiration on what to write in your wedding vows.
- Why are you getting married?
- What future goals do you want to accomplish together?
- What hard times have you already been through together?
- What is the main heartbeat of your relationship, what makes it tick?
- What emotions did you feel when you first saw your partner?
- At what point in the relationship did you realize that you were in love?
- What are qualities that you admire about your partner?
- What do you need to work on to make the relationship stronger?
- How has life improved since meeting your partner?
- What are the things you miss the most when you are not together?
Now grab your pen and paper and get writing those vows!